BLACK, WHITE OR GRAY

MJ was found "not guilty". I admit I am relieved that he is not going to jail. Have never been a huge fan of his but couldn't help but get caught up in the media frenzy over this child molestation thing.

Poor guy has psych problems. I don't think he molested the kids, but definitely exhibited inappropriate behaviour. I remember the interview he did with 60 minutes or 20/20 or some other primetime news/talk show in the US after the first allegation back in the 90's. I remember his responses to the inteviewer's question (was it Ed Bradley???) on whether he thought it was OK for an adult man to share the same bed with a young child. He had been adamant that it was an innocent act...something special....nothing dirty about it. I remember thinking -"he has problems"...

I hope he gets psychological or psychiatric help to work through is Peter Pan issues & self image problems.

And I hope that the parents of so called victims come to their senses...

Phases

I have been asked if I have had any regrets in my life. I believe that we go through phases in how we answer this question.

In my 20's, my immediate answer would have been an immediate "Yes!" I would have studied ______ instead of ______, I would have done this instead of that, etc.

In my 30's, my answer would have been a "Maybe, but..." where I would be waffling between alternate options.

Now that I've arrived into the 40's, I have a much more philosophical approach to this question. I think that all the decisions which I have made in the various stages of life were the right ones given the particular situation that I had been in at the time. Yes, I definitely have regrets in the directions that I have taken in life, but I don't think I could have done any better even if I could live my life over again under the same circumstances.

So I think I should make do & be grateful with what I have & look forward to the second half of my life with enthusiasm!

Men are from Mars & so on & so forth

It's true! When you leave them to plan their schedule, somehow, some way, it gets messes up! If it's not work related, you can be pretty sure that a pre-arranged engagement or dinner, or music lesson will be forgotten. Doesn't matter if he's 14 or 44 - they still forget...

Day Four

My fourth official non-working day today - I still have not come to terms with the fact that I am not employed.

I don't understand why I have these conflicting thoughts & feelings of guilt when it comes to this. I know that I feel more relaxed now, less headaches. And yet, there is this nagging doubt in the back of my mind that I should be doing something more productive than just spending time with the boys or pursueing leisure activities on a weekday!

Hope it gets better. I really need to find an art course or writing course to take up. Maybe take riding lessons...