Re-empty Nesting

They have come and now have gone again.  Z & W came for a month's visit with their parental units over the Christmas and New Year holidays.  Time spent as a family unit is much treasured these days, given the geographical distance between us.  Even more precious was time spent with their grandparents during a short getaway to Taipei, as due to various circumstances, visiting them in Singapore is not an option.

I loved simply just listening to and being a part of conversations between us.  Nothing beats face to face interactions.  Facetime is a blessing to be had for sure, but I do miss the physical togetherness of being a family, extended or otherwise.

Having said that, now that they have returned home, A says he is happy to be back to our usual grind and day to day schedule.  We love them dearly, but there is something to be said to be just the two of us once more.

Transitioning. Again.

W leaves Boston tomorrow for a new life in California.  He graduated last year and now begins a new phase of life where he will (hopefully) find a job at least temporarily, while deciding whether he wants to go on to law school or not.  I am optimistic that he will do well.

For us, this year is a year of moves.  Moving/selling our Boston condo, moving out of our rental in Singapore, moving into a larger place in Macau....and hopefully finding a permanent home somewhere in the Pacific Northwest of the USA.  I have been longing for permanence for a while now.  At the ripe old age of 52, I long to finally put down some roots.  My tired soul has had enough of uprooting over the last 2 decades or so.

Another Milestone

We head to the Mid-West this weekend to attend Z's graduation from college.  He will officially be an engineer and was fortunate enough to get a full-time job starting January.

This marks the "end" of our responsibility.  No more tuition bills to pay (for Z), no more pocket money.  He will truly have left the nest.

Although for me, as a mother, my babies will never truly leave.

Where is Home

Z graduates this December.  He needs to submit information for his commencement ceremony including "Hometown".  W asked us the same question too, a couple of months ago, as he may be on track to graduate a year earlier than expected.

"What should I say for Hometown?" they ask.

I say, "I don't know".

"Planet Earth would be good," Z replies.

Indeed, it would.

I ask myself this question too, sometimes.

Missing Us

I've said many times & to many people that being an empty nester has been very liberating.  However, that doesn't take away from the fact that I am missing Us, the Family Unit.  Whether it is sitting at the dinner table, talking about stuff or watching a movie together then dissecting the storyline after, or just being in the same room while surfing the Internet, I do miss Us.

Scrooge

Call me a Scrooge or just plain lazy but our home was devoid of Christmas decorations this year.  A big reason why is because 99% of our Christmas decorations are in storage.  And who has room for a tree anyway?

I saw the malls & shops all decked out in Christmas decorations but somehow did not feel the Christmas spirit; it just felt so commercial.  Hong Kong &, I think, Singapore as well, "celebrate" American holidays like Easter (chocolate bunnies & Easter egg hunts, which, the way I see it, has nothing to do with the resurrection of Christ), and Halloween (this was something I only read about or watched on TV when I was growing up).  Retailers do a whopping business marketing Christmas presents, & Easter/Halloween candies, and fancy dress costumes for trick-or-treating (or in the case of adults, partying).

Now, Chinese New Year is coming and the decorations started going up as soon as Christmas was over.  It will be another quiet one for us this year, just A & I.  I asked him: "I'm trying to decide whether to put up CNY decorations or not.  Should I?"
His answer: "Why?  We would just need to take them down again."

I guess I'm not the only Scrooge in the family.

Happy Year of the Horse everyone.

Reunited

It's at once strange & wonderful to have all four of us under the same roof.  Z & W are here on their winter break.  This tiny apartment is not made for four large people to live in despite having 3 bedrooms and 2 full bathrooms.  We are overflowing with luggage & furniture & STUFF.

But in spite of living on top of each other, these next few weeks will be treasured.  We have learned to appreciate each other more because of the separation.

We are Family.

Missing

Seeing all the pictures on Facebook of families spending Thanksgiving with their loved ones makes me miss our boys even more.  Sometimes, I wish we were a bit more "normal" in the sense of being able to celebrate special occasions as a family under the same roof.

I am counting down the days till they are both here in Hong Kong for the winter break.

Musings from the Empty Nest 4

Chinese New Year's Eve "Reunion Dinner" :
Me - Fish & Chips
A - Cheese Burger

Chinese New Year's Day brunch - dim sum

The year of the snake started off with a whimper....

Musings from the Empty Nest 4

W returns to college tomorrow after spending his winter break here.  Z left two weeks ago.  It was nice having both "boys" "home".

I asked if he was looking forward to going home to Boston, where his college is.  W says that he doesn't consider Boston home.  And that until he has a family of his own, home is wherever we are...which really touched my heart.  Like this song...




  I guess for third culture kids like ours, home really is where the heart is.

Getting Fit

So, A & I have signed up with a health club, and sessions with trainers, in an effort to lose weight & get healthy.

Weight loss has been a perpetual struggle for me, especially during the time when I was working full-time, both as a doctor, and as a stay-at-home mother.

No more excuses now that I am an empty nester.  An ulterior motive for me is to try to get in shape for a dream vacation of mine: horse-trekking through the Canadian Rockies.  I don't know when I will get the chance to do so, but hopefully in the near future, before age takes a toll on this physical body & I am unable to even climb on to a horse.

Wish me luck.

Musings from the Empty Nest 3

The thing about being an international  transplanted family with college-going sons is that time spent together as a family under the same roof in the same country is a rare & treasured occasion.

Usually, family reunions happen during "special" occasions like Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year, Easter etc.  But for us, we take what we can get.  Time spent together is special, no matter which part of the year it is.

Musings from the Empty Nest 2

Smooth transition into empty nest-hood notwithstanding, reuniting with Z & eventually W will still be a wonderful event.  We will go to our first family vacation in a long time, heading to the sunny shores of Phuket, Thailand where we plan to do nothing but bask in the sun, take long walks on the beach, and enjoy Thai food.

Musings from the Empty Nest 1

When I see, or am in the company of, infants/toddlers/pre-schoolers in all their hyperactive glory, all I can say is:

"Thank God I don't have to go through that again."

Amen.