Impressions from China - Chinese wedding

I witnessed a bizarre scene today while working out at the gym.

See, our clubhouse has a lakeside al fresco area that is popularly used for events like, in this case, a wedding. Thing is, it is in full sight of the people working out in the gym.

This morning, I saw the area decked out for a wedding. Orange streamers, orange flowers in bouquets. I saw the groom dressed in a formal suit, the bride in a Western-style cream-colored bridal gown holding a bouquet of orange flowers (I'm thinking the theme is Orange).

The bride was waiting near the entrance to the lakeside area, just adjacent to the gym. We heard the MC speaking over the PA system, at full blast, in Mandarin, then a child's voice, speaking in a cutesy way, something about switching off hand phones (I think).

Then the introductory part of the theme from Star Wars starts playing, at which point the bride starts walking into the celebratory area (& where A. asks softly into my ear, "Where's Darth Vader?" to which I burst out into uncontrollable laughter - fortunately, we were in the gym, out of earshot of the bridal party - in any case, with the volume at full blast, I doubt we would have been overheard anyway). The Star Wars theme segueways into the theme from Exodus followed by a few bars from the Amazing Race theme song.

I am not kidding you.

Then the groom starts speaking & shouts "I love you" (in Mandarin) among other things which I did not understand.

Then I was done with my workout.

It was pretty surreal.

Aches & Pains

Groan.

Moan.

I played basketball today for the first time in 26 years. And boy, am I sore. The knees are wobbly, and the back aches; I can't imagine how much worse it will be tomorrow as these things generally feel worse the next day.

I used to be extremely active in university. Softball, volleyball, tennis, basketball...even played for my Faculty. However, after graduation, my physical activity level dropped tremendously due to work, and then motherhood.

Now, with age catching up, I try to make it to the gym every other day, in the hope that it will improve my cardiovascular health.

Despite my fairly regular gym-ming, I realize that competitive basketball is way way way beyond my capability now.

Sigh.

Bookaholic

Despite have an e-reader, I still find myself inexplicably drawn towards bookstores in the USA & Singapore.

Something about the rows & rows of bookshelves, & browsing through the books according to authors' names, & thumbing through the pages to read snippets of the books before deciding on whether to buy or not....the experience cannot be replicated digitally.

Although now, I have to stop at the stage of thumbing through the pages & remind myself to buy said books online instead.

Survivor

Forget about the reality TV series.

It is heartwarming to watch the rescue of the Chilean miners who have been trapped underground for 69 days, being pulled out painstakingly, one by one. The resilience of the human spirit is amazing.

The miners have been brave, but the true heroes, I think, of this saga, are the supporting crew, who have helped maintain the physical, emotional & spiritual well-being of the miners & the engineers who managed to figure out a way of getting them out.

These days, we need more good news like this.

Next Generation

I was browsing in the toy department of a store a few days ago, looking for a present for my nephew's first birthday. I noticed a few other parents in there, with their kids, mostly toddlers. And then it struck me that they all looked soooo young. (The parents, I mean.) I saw them & thought to myself: "Wow, what young parents."

And then I realized that I, the half-empty-nester, could, physiologically speaking, be a grandmother (although I DO NOT WANT TO NOR DO I EXPECT TO BE ONE ANY TIME IN THE NEAR FUTURE!!!) and that once upon a time, I was in their shoes running after my two little boys in the toy department.

And then I suddenly felt old.

The Big Chill

Dinner and drinks.

Scintillating conversation, nostalgic reminiscence.

Laughing till tears roll down our faces.

Chatting about anything & everything.

That was what we did a couple of nights ago, a group of friends from medical school.

Recent deaths within our circle of peers has made us all more aware of our own mortality. We cope in different ways: some becoming more conscious of our health, while others, like me, try almost desperately, to get in touch with old pals. My trips to Singapore happen once, maybe twice a year. During these trips, I try to connect with old friends - classmates from high school, medical school, previous work colleagues.

We try to catch up on a year's (or more) worth of updates in a few hours. Death, divorce, separation, our children's milestones - we try to cover all that in the short time we have together.

We always have a good time; and we always end the night reluctantly. This time, we chatted till after 1 am, till we all could not fight the sleepy yawns & heavy eyelids, before we said our farewells.

Good friends, good times, always.

Long Distance

Long distance parenting means interpreting one's child's mood via Facebook, & the emoticons used in his/her status.

Example - ...beijing :( means he is missing Beijing, more specifically Beijing food. I guess mid-western US cuisine does become monotonous after a while. And I inferred correctly that this feeling of woe has been triggered by the increasing work load of college and the realization that being in college does not mean one continuous party without supervision from the parental units.

After a month and a half, the honeymoon is finally over.

Metamorphosis

Once upon a time, I wished there were more hours in the day because I had to

• work
• supervise my children's homework
• make sure the household was running smoothly
• make sure we had meals on the dinner table
• sleep
• have some kind of leisure time/activity (if at all)

Now, I find myself wishing there were more hours in the day because I

• preside over the parent organization in my son's school
• quilt
• get body/foot massages
• have lunch with my friends
• shop
• play mahjong
• watch the latest movies & TV series on DVD
• volunteer in school
• and soon, take painting lessons

If the Me of today could go back in time and tell the Me of yesterday about my current lifestyle, I am sure my previous Me would scoff & say,"Ha! If that ever happens, I will eat my hat!"

I am thankful for what I have had the chance to experience, and for what I have.

Labels

People need to remember that behind the labels of "Doctor", "Lawyer", "President", "Engineer", "Captain" etc, lies a human being who does the best he/she can in what he/she has been tasked to do, sometimes makes mistakes despite the best of intentions and has real emotions & real feelings which oftentimes get hurt by thoughtless words and false assumptions.

Peace.

Three Cups of Tea

This is a must-read for everyone - the story of this amazing man who made a difference to thousands of children in one of the poorest parts of the world.

Greg Mortensen, ex-mountaineer turned humanitarian, is an eccentric character, to say the least. The book is written (by Mortensen together with David Relin) in a captivating narrative which captures the reader & refuses to let him/her go till the last page is read.

The roadblocks faced by this man as he tried to build schools for the voiceless in Pakistan & Afghanistan would have stopped the average person. But (I think) because of his eccentricity, and a huge amount of persistence, with perhaps a bit of recklessness (or stupidity, depending on whom you are talking to), he literally built his first school stone by stone.

His achievements are inspirational. This should be mandatory reading for The Powers That Be who sit on the governments which send troops to the Middle East or Afghanistan.

This paragraph sums up quite neatly why the war on terror is not being won by the politicians:

"We only stayed a minute, while I was introduced," Mortensen says. "And I wish I could tell you I said something amazing to Donald Rumsfeld, the kind of thing that made him question the whole conduct of the war on terror, but mostly what I did was stare at his shoes.

"I don't know much about that kind of thing, but even I could tell they were really nice shoes. They looked expensive and they were perfectly shined. I remember also that Rumsfeld had on a fancy-looking gray suit, and he smelled like cologne. And I remember thinking, even though I knew that the Pentagon had been hit by a hijacked plane, that we were very far away from the fighting, from the heat and dust I'd come from in Kabul."

His work has inspired me.

This book has made me see that in the greater scheme of things, we need to appreciate what we have instead of focusing on what we don't, and yes, it is cliched, but there are always others MUCH less fortunate than us. Oh, I have known it all along, but reading about the people in Pakistan & Afghanistan & how the live has made me appreciate this so much more.

It has also shown me that sometimes, we need to take small steps at the beginning to reach a seemingly unreachable destination.

I think I will take my first step now.

Impressions from China - Wildlife No More

Well, they're gone. The ducks, I mean.

Yesterday, I saw the guards catching the two ducks with large nets & carrying them off somewhere, with a small audience of children & ayis watching & asking "Why??" I heard something about fish & assumed that the ducks had been feasting on the koi in the pond.

Poor things. Driven out of their home. I just hope that they have been "relocated" somewhere else & not end up on someone's dinner table.

Impressions from China - Wildlife

It is unusual to find wildlife in Beijing. I am surprised at the paucity of fauna here. I think most have either been eaten, or chased away by urbanization. We live in a very suburban area, but it seems like most "wildlife" we encounter here are the occasional magpies & sparrows.

This pair of mated ducks just took up residence in out compound last week. They spend their time in constant company with each other next to the koi pond, eating when the other eats, swimming when the other swims, resting when the other rests, sleeping when the other sleeps. They are more loyal to each other than many humans I know.

I hope they hang around & are able to survive the winter. Do ducks head south for the winter, anyway?

Impressions from China - Tired

We've been here four & a half years. It has gone by in a flash. My older son completed high school here, I have a good circle of friends, made a difference volunteering in my kids' school, and generally have enjoyed life NOT working as a doctor & exploring different interests & the local culture.

But I am tired. Tired of China, to be honest.

Coming back from our summer in the US this year was especially hard. I have missed the lifestyle of America: the clean air, blue skies, not having to worry about the drinking water/food, the accessibility to groceries & supplies which many living there take for granted, the unfettered access to the Internet, English movies, English bookstores, being able to converse with someone without "ums" & "ers" & sign language, the traffic (more aptly, drivers & pedestrians who actually obey the laws of the road), being able to find clothes in the stores that actually can fit me...

I do appreciate that there are advantages of living here: the cheap local foodstuff, cheap massage, cheap domestic help & drivers. There are always pros & cons for whichever country we live in.

But at the moment, I miss Home. We've lived away from the US for just over 10 years now. Although Singapore is my home town, to me, the US is Home.

I want to go Home. But I don't know when we will be able to do that.

Weather the Weather

I find myself in a perpetual sheen of sweat ever since the official end of Winter in March. We had a short Spring this year, just about 2 weeks of nice, cool weather before Someone decided to turn on the "HOT" switch & Summer descended on us in wrath.

Even in the US, whether it was in the East Coast or the Mid-West or the Deep South, the heat followed us relentlessly, leaving us with deep tans & sweaty faces, & a deep longing for the cooler weather of Fall to quickly get here.

Generation Gap

W. just started 11th grade. In his junior & senior years of high school, my artistically-inclined child will have to

1. perform instrumental solos as part of his course requirements
2. compose music
3. make a 7 minute long movie that makes a social statement

in addition to his core subjects.

When I was in the equivalent grade levels, I studied Biology, Chemistry, & Physics.

Where his artistic bent comes from, A & I are not sure. Perhaps we had it in us all this time; but in our day, such pursuits were only encouraged as hobbies, if at all, and not as part of one's academic curriculum.

What a difference a generation makes.

Moving on

So Z has arrived safely in University, settled into his dorm, met his room mate (whom he describes as "pretty cool"), bought his textbooks & is already in the swing of orientation activities.

When we called him yesterday to check up on him, he sounded happy, & to be honest, sounded like we were interfering with his socializing (although he did not say it outright!).

I am glad that he is transitioning well, but at the same time, am wistfully a bit disappointed that he is not missing us more. I have to say though, that I much prefer this happy-go-lucky attitude than the separation anxiety that some of his peers are experiencing; I have heard that one of his fellow graduates from high school, cried daily for the whole week before leaving for college. If my kid had done that, I would be a total wreck!

So I am happy to report that the take off stage of college life has been a great success!

PB & J

Sometimes, it is nice to indulge in comfort food.

Absence

It's strange how the the ebb & flow of the rhythm of a household changes with the absence of a single person.

With Z away in the US, it suddenly seems quieter. There is a deafening silence that comes from his bedroom, where he usually blasts his music or at least one can hear the sounds of the Youtube videos he so loves to watch.

Its not that W. is a quiet presence...he's not.

But still, there is something missing.

Bad service

So we just returned from the US to Beijing, and it was probably one of the worst flight experiences I've ever had in my life (and I've had pretty vast travelling experiences on various airlines).

We traveled on Continental Airlines, our first experience with this airline. The trip there was pretty uneventful. The plane itself was new with a good entertainment system that is up to par with what SIA has to offer. The service was OK during our onward trip. However, it was a totally different story coming back.

The flight started off OK; we boarded the plane in Newark, after a transit of about an hour & a half. We got to our seats, strapped our seat belts on & waited. And waited. And waited. After over an hour, the pilot finally informed us that due to a technical problem, we would have to deplane & they would try to arrange for a different plane to take us on our journey.

And so we did. And they manage to arrange for an incoming plane from Europe to replace the original one, taking off after a delay of about 4 hours. Not too bad, I thought.

So the time comes for us to board, and we are boarded according to our seats. When it is our turn, we find out as we go through the gate that our seat assignment has been changed, from 2 aisle seats in the front cabin, to 2 middle seats in the back cabin, separate from each other. "What the h***???!!!" I think.

When we get on board, I ask the flight attendant for the reason, & she said that the plane has a different configuration. To us, the explanation of the change being a result of the plane having a different configuration did not make sense at all as the plane seating arrangement looked the same as the previous one. When W. tries to explain that we had done the internet check-in so as to ensure that we each get aisle seats as we were both mildly claustrophobic, & could possibly get motion sickness, her response was extremely discourteous, & accusatory (that he "had an attitude"). This left a bad taste in my mouth, but not wanting to delay things any further, we went to the assigned seats. She grudgingly said that she would try to help us.

To make matters worse, the flight was a full one, & because our seating arrangement had been changed, all the overhead compartments in the already-boarded back cabin were already full by the time we got there, hence, we both end up having to place our carry-on bags under the seats in an already-cramped space.

That flight attendant? Well, she never returned to us to let us know if she was able to help us or not. To me, good customer service means following up on requests by your customer, whether the problem has been resolved or not. This person did not even have the courtesy to return to us to let us know that she had been unable to help us. Whether or not she even tried, I will never know.

To add salt to the wound, my attempts at calling a flight attendant using the call button were ignored.

I will certainly think twice about taking this airline again.

Woes of long distance traveling

Every time I take a long haul flight, I

• dread it
• wish that I could afford to travel business class all the time
• wish that the transporter in the Star Trek universe actually existed in real life which would make traveling SOOO much easier
• wish that all airlines could have the same level of service as SIA
• need a body massage to iron out all the stiffness & soreness resulting from being cramped in a cattle class seat
• wish that someone could give me IV sedation for the entire journey & wake me up when we arrive