Friday, November 26, 2010

Thanksgiving

On this day of thanks, I am thankful for

the love & support of my family, both nuclear & extended
the chance to explore & experience this world way beyond what I have ever imagined being able to do so
my two darling boys who have grown into strong dependable young men

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Separation (again)

Much as I am happy that Z. has transitioned well, it doesn't make separating any easier.

We will see him in three weeks when he comes back to Beijing for his winter break. But saying farewell still tugs at my heart.

I suspect that the separation process will never be absolutely painless, no matter how old my children are.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Reconnection

It has been wonderful for A. & I to see Z. again. He looks well, enjoying college life, having made some good friends to hang out with & to study with.

He has transitioned well, my teddy-bear-son.

I am content.

Now for Round 2 with W.....

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Reconnecting

It's been 3 and a half months since I left Z. halfway across the world to attend college. This is the longest we've ever been apart since he was born. I have to say, though, that the separation DOES get easier. I suppose it's the natural progression of life after all, the young separating from their parental units.

I see him again this weekend when I travel with A. to the US of A. I can't wait, thrilled at the prospect of being able to see him, hug him, talk to him face to face (as opposed to via Facetime), see his dorm room, meet his room mate, his friends, see whom he hangs out with, where he has his meals - basically stuff that moms are concerned about.

In the words of Borat, I am so excite!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Impressions from China - winter

You know Winter is approaching when
  • you feel the frigid, chilled-to-the-bone cold when you go outside
  • you smell the distinctive odor of charcoal smoke (in the area where we live, charcoal is the main source of heat)
  • you are reluctant to leave the warm & steamy shower stall after your shower
  • your skin starts to dry up, looks like fish scales, and feels like sandpaper
  • riding your bike to school no longer seems very appealing

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Maternal Pride

Tonight, I watched as my younger son, W., give an absolutely fantastic performance on the timpani in "Carmina Burana". At the post-concert reception, many parents congratulated & praised his work; his band teacher walked up to me, extended his hand to shake mine, and said what a great job W. had done, not just in his performance, but also in his leadership skills as section leader in class.

Nothing warms a mother's heart more than to hear such kind words & unwavering praise of one's offspring.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Impressions from China - Chinese wedding

I witnessed a bizarre scene today while working out at the gym.

See, our clubhouse has a lakeside al fresco area that is popularly used for events like, in this case, a wedding. Thing is, it is in full sight of the people working out in the gym.

This morning, I saw the area decked out for a wedding. Orange streamers, orange flowers in bouquets. I saw the groom dressed in a formal suit, the bride in a Western-style cream-colored bridal gown holding a bouquet of orange flowers (I'm thinking the theme is Orange).

The bride was waiting near the entrance to the lakeside area, just adjacent to the gym. We heard the MC speaking over the PA system, at full blast, in Mandarin, then a child's voice, speaking in a cutesy way, something about switching off hand phones (I think).

Then the introductory part of the theme from Star Wars starts playing, at which point the bride starts walking into the celebratory area (& where A. asks softly into my ear, "Where's Darth Vader?" to which I burst out into uncontrollable laughter - fortunately, we were in the gym, out of earshot of the bridal party - in any case, with the volume at full blast, I doubt we would have been overheard anyway). The Star Wars theme segueways into the theme from Exodus followed by a few bars from the Amazing Race theme song.

I am not kidding you.

Then the groom starts speaking & shouts "I love you" (in Mandarin) among other things which I did not understand.

Then I was done with my workout.

It was pretty surreal.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Aches & Pains

Groan.

Moan.

I played basketball today for the first time in 26 years. And boy, am I sore. The knees are wobbly, and the back aches; I can't imagine how much worse it will be tomorrow as these things generally feel worse the next day.

I used to be extremely active in university. Softball, volleyball, tennis, basketball...even played for my Faculty. However, after graduation, my physical activity level dropped tremendously due to work, and then motherhood.

Now, with age catching up, I try to make it to the gym every other day, in the hope that it will improve my cardiovascular health.

Despite my fairly regular gym-ming, I realize that competitive basketball is way way way beyond my capability now.

Sigh.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Bookaholic

Despite have an e-reader, I still find myself inexplicably drawn towards bookstores in the USA & Singapore.

Something about the rows & rows of bookshelves, & browsing through the books according to authors' names, & thumbing through the pages to read snippets of the books before deciding on whether to buy or not....the experience cannot be replicated digitally.

Although now, I have to stop at the stage of thumbing through the pages & remind myself to buy said books online instead.


Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Survivor

Forget about the reality TV series.

It is heartwarming to watch the rescue of the Chilean miners who have been trapped underground for 69 days, being pulled out painstakingly, one by one. The resilience of the human spirit is amazing.

The miners have been brave, but the true heroes, I think, of this saga, are the supporting crew, who have helped maintain the physical, emotional & spiritual well-being of the miners & the engineers who managed to figure out a way of getting them out.

These days, we need more good news like this.

Thursday, October 07, 2010

Next Generation

I was browsing in the toy department of a store a few days ago, looking for a present for my nephew's first birthday. I noticed a few other parents in there, with their kids, mostly toddlers. And then it struck me that they all looked soooo young. (The parents, I mean.) I saw them & thought to myself: "Wow, what young parents."

And then I realized that I, the half-empty-nester, could, physiologically speaking, be a grandmother (although I DO NOT WANT TO NOR DO I EXPECT TO BE ONE ANY TIME IN THE NEAR FUTURE!!!) and that once upon a time, I was in their shoes running after my two little boys in the toy department.

And then I suddenly felt old.

Monday, October 04, 2010

The Big Chill

Dinner and drinks.

Scintillating conversation, nostalgic reminiscence.

Laughing till tears roll down our faces.

Chatting about anything & everything.

That was what we did a couple of nights ago, a group of friends from medical school.

Recent deaths within our circle of peers has made us all more aware of our own mortality. We cope in different ways: some becoming more conscious of our health, while others, like me, try almost desperately, to get in touch with old pals. My trips to Singapore happen once, maybe twice a year. During these trips, I try to connect with old friends - classmates from high school, medical school, previous work colleagues.

We try to catch up on a year's (or more) worth of updates in a few hours. Death, divorce, separation, our children's milestones - we try to cover all that in the short time we have together.

We always have a good time; and we always end the night reluctantly. This time, we chatted till after 1 am, till we all could not fight the sleepy yawns & heavy eyelids, before we said our farewells.

Good friends, good times, always.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Long Distance

Long distance parenting means interpreting one's child's mood via Facebook, & the emoticons used in his/her status.

Example - ...beijing :( means he is missing Beijing, more specifically Beijing food. I guess mid-western US cuisine does become monotonous after a while. And I inferred correctly that this feeling of woe has been triggered by the increasing work load of college and the realization that being in college does not mean one continuous party without supervision from the parental units.

After a month and a half, the honeymoon is finally over.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Metamorphosis

Once upon a time, I wished there were more hours in the day because I had to
  • work
  • supervise my children's homework
  • make sure the household was running smoothly
  • make sure we had meals on the dinner table
  • sleep
  • have some kind of leisure time/activity (if at all)
Now, I find myself wishing there were more hours in the day because I
  • preside over the parent organization in my son's school
  • quilt
  • get body/foot massages
  • have lunch with my friends
  • shop
  • play mahjong
  • watch the latest movies & TV series on DVD
  • volunteer in school
  • and soon, take painting lessons
If the Me of today could go back in time and tell the Me of yesterday about my current lifestyle, I am sure my previous Me would scoff & say,"Ha! If that ever happens, I will eat my hat!"

I am thankful for what I have had the chance to experience, and for what I have.

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Labels

People need to remember that behind the labels of "Doctor", "Lawyer", "President", "Engineer", "Captain" etc, lies a human being who does the best he/she can in what he/she has been tasked to do, sometimes makes mistakes despite the best of intentions and has real emotions & real feelings which oftentimes get hurt by thoughtless words and false assumptions.

Peace.

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Three Cups of Tea

This is a must-read for everyone - the story of this amazing man who made a difference to thousands of children in one of the poorest parts of the world.

Greg Mortensen, ex-mountaineer turned humanitarian, is an eccentric character, to say the least. The book is written (by Mortensen together with David Relin) in a captivating narrative which captures the reader & refuses to let him/her go till the last page is read.

The roadblocks faced by this man as he tried to build schools for the voiceless in Pakistan & Afghanistan would have stopped the average person. But (I think) because of his eccentricity, and a huge amount of persistence, with perhaps a bit of recklessness (or stupidity, depending on whom you are talking to), he literally built his first school stone by stone.

His achievements are inspirational. This should be mandatory reading for The Powers That Be who sit on the governments which send troops to the Middle East or Afghanistan.

This paragraph sums up quite neatly why the war on terror is not being won by the politicians:

"We only stayed a minute, while I was introduced," Mortensen says. "And I wish I could tell you I said something amazing to Donald Rumsfeld, the kind of thing that made him question the whole conduct of the war on terror, but mostly what I did was stare at his shoes.

"I don't know much about that kind of thing, but even I could tell they were really nice shoes. They looked expensive and they were perfectly shined. I remember also that Rumsfeld had on a fancy-looking gray suit, and he smelled like cologne. And I remember thinking, even though I knew that the Pentagon had been hit by a hijacked plane, that we were very far away from the fighting, from the heat and dust I'd come from in Kabul."

His work has inspired me.

This book has made me see that in the greater scheme of things, we need to appreciate what we have instead of focusing on what we don't, and yes, it is cliched, but there are always others MUCH less fortunate than us. Oh, I have known it all along, but reading about the people in Pakistan & Afghanistan & how the live has made me appreciate this so much more.

It has also shown me that sometimes, we need to take small steps at the beginning to reach a seemingly unreachable destination.

I think I will take my first step now.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Impressions from China - Wildlife No More

Well, they're gone. The ducks, I mean.

Yesterday, I saw the guards catching the two ducks with large nets & carrying them off somewhere, with a small audience of children & ayis watching & asking "Why??" I heard something about fish & assumed that the ducks had been feasting on the koi in the pond.

Poor things. Driven out of their home. I just hope that they have been "relocated" somewhere else & not end up on someone's dinner table.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Impressions from China - Wildlife

It is unusual to find wildlife in Beijing. I am surprised at the paucity of fauna here. I think most have either been eaten, or chased away by urbanization. We live in a very suburban area, but it seems like most "wildlife" we encounter here are the occasional magpies & sparrows.

This pair of mated ducks just took up residence in out compound last week. They spend their time in constant company with each other next to the koi pond, eating when the other eats, swimming when the other swims, resting when the other rests, sleeping when the other sleeps. They are more loyal to each other than many humans I know.

I hope they hang around & are able to survive the winter. Do ducks head south for the winter, anyway?




Thursday, August 19, 2010

Impressions from China - Tired

We've been here four & a half years. It has gone by in a flash. My older son completed high school here, I have a good circle of friends, made a difference volunteering in my kids' school, and generally have enjoyed life NOT working as a doctor & exploring different interests & the local culture.

But I am tired. Tired of China, to be honest.

Coming back from our summer in the US this year was especially hard. I have missed the lifestyle of America: the clean air, blue skies, not having to worry about the drinking water/food, the accessibility to groceries & supplies which many living there take for granted, the unfettered access to the Internet, English movies, English bookstores, being able to converse with someone without "ums" & "ers" & sign language, the traffic (more aptly, drivers & pedestrians who actually obey the laws of the road), being able to find clothes in the stores that actually can fit me...

I do appreciate that there are advantages of living here: the cheap local foodstuff, cheap massage, cheap domestic help & drivers. There are always pros & cons for whichever country we live in.

But at the moment, I miss Home. We've lived away from the US for just over 10 years now. Although Singapore is my home town, to me, the US is Home.

I want to go Home. But I don't know when we will be able to do that.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Weather the Weather

I find myself in a perpetual sheen of sweat ever since the official end of Winter in March. We had a short Spring this year, just about 2 weeks of nice, cool weather before Someone decided to turn on the "HOT" switch & Summer descended on us in wrath.

Even in the US, whether it was in the East Coast or the Mid-West or the Deep South, the heat followed us relentlessly, leaving us with deep tans & sweaty faces, & a deep longing for the cooler weather of Fall to quickly get here.