How did I end up here? At the milestone age of 40, I started reading my 14-year-old niece's blog last year. I remember keeping a diary - a journal of sorts- when I was her age. When I read her entries, so full of teenage angst and passion, it brought back memories of my own entries made during those years of hormonal upheaval and emotional swings.
As I feel myself approaching another similar phase of hormonal changes (in the opposite direction, I must say), the urge to write and to put my thoughts down into words is once again stirred up.
I put aside my writings when I entered junior college and then medical school, as I found myself pressed for time and pressured by the endless tests and exams that I had to study for. Then came internship and residency with ward rounds and night calls. In the midst of all that, I got married, and had children......who had time to write? Any sparks of inspiration I might have had during those years were utterly ignored by the other priorities that cropped up especially when the babies came along.
So here I am...my babies are now a pre-adolescent and a teenager who would usually rather spend time IM-ing their friends or with their PS2/XBox/PC when they are not busy with homework. I find myself with more time to mull over current issues and life in general. And suddenly, I feel the occasional inspiration to write down my thoughts once again - this time, in the virtual world instead of on by-products of dead trees.
I still have my old journals from my teenage years. I haven't opened them in years...I don't want to. Not yet, anyway. I don't know why; maybe it's because I don't want to miss my youth now that I am facing the middle years. Maybe I will, once I have accepted the fact that age creeps up on everyone, including me, with a 41 year-old body but a 16 year old soul...