Why

The events occurring in the past week in Boston have been gut-wrenching, heartbreaking, & mind-blowing.  When they finally caught suspect #2 (suspect #1,his older brother, having been killed) & he turned out to be only 19 years old, the only question that came to my mind was "Why?"

He is the same age as W, and two years younger than Z.  Somewhere out there, his mother is probably asking herself the same question & going through unimaginable heart break over why her two sons would do something so reprehensible.  There is plenty of speculation that they were "radicalized", a new term that I have learnt in the past few days.  I assume that this means that they were caught up by extreme religious beliefs, which led them to the horrific act this past Monday, which claimed three lives so far & maimed so many others.  I know that religion is a powerful thing.  When used for evil, even the mildest mannered & apparently sane person can be made to perform the vilest of deeds.

I mourn for the loss of lives in Boston, & the suffering that the victims are going through.  But I also mourn for the loss of innocence of suspect #2 & the ordeal that his family is & will be going through in having to deal with what he has done.  He will have to face the jury for what he has done, no doubt about it.  But the mother in me can't help but wonder how & why this happened.

It's just so sad.

End Game

One word:

RELIEF.

Terror

Explosions halfway across the world reverberate all the way here.

W is safe, thank God.  But the bombs went off down the street from where he would have been having classes if it had not been a holiday.

Who knows who or why this happened.  The world as I know it is not a safe place anymore.  Anywhere, anytime, anything can happen that can change your life & take away all that you hold dear.

Stay safe, my friends.  Give your kids an extra hug & hold them close if you can.  My heart & prayers go out to all the victims of another senseless event.

In Retrospect

After reading this article, I look back at my decision to stop practicing clinical medicine & realize that I was, indeed, suffering from burnout.  Someone did ask me, at the time, if this was the reason for my decision, and, at the time, I said No.  Perhaps it was denial.

In any case, when I examine my life over the last several years, I know now that it was the right decision.  

Weather Woes

This must be the most miserable weather I've experienced in a long while.  Day after day after day.

Grey, rainy, cloudy, dank...it's enough to make a girl S.A.D.

Modesty

I notice that the HK ladies are not bashful at all about nudity.  When I am in the ladies'  locker room of the health club I belong to, it is a common sight to see them walking around in all their glory, not shy at all about showing their assets to fellow females.

Me?  I'll stick to the curtained changing rooms, thank you very much.

Forever Young

So, I bring my dad to see a medical school classmate of mine for a skin condition.

After the consult, my dad looks at the receipt with my classmate's name stamp & designations on it, and impressed, says: "Wow, he's so young & already a Professor!"

I look at my dad & gently reminds him: " Er...he's my classmate & I will be 50 next year....not that young anymore."

Bless his heart, that I will be, in his eyes, forever young....

Population change

My preamble at dinner tonight with a waitress at a local restaurant (spoken in Mandarin, translated here into English): "Should I speak in English, Cantonese or Mandarin?"

Such is the state of the nation now, with regards to the population mix of its residents.  Most service staff are non-Singaporean, coming from either Malaysia, Philippines  China, India or even Myanmar.  Hence calling up a restaurant in advance to make a booking may mean speaking to a non-English speaker, with the usual alternative being Mandarin.    And there is a good chance that your server is also a non-English speaker.

Yet there is a huge debate over the influx of foreign talent into the Singapore shores.  And at the same time, many restaurants are finding themselves short of staff.

Finding the balance will be tricky.  I only hope that the resentment against foreign "talent" here will not eventually lead to nasty racism/nationalism.

Family

I see pictures of family reunion dinners, families & extended families of friends dressed in their CNY finery posted on Facebook, and a part of me feels a twinge of sadness & nostalgia for the days when we were all living in the same country, when uncles & aunties & cousins, grandmas & grandpas, were still alive and when family get-togethers were not as rare as they have become now.

My family migrated to Singapore when I was in pre-school.  My extended family was/is spread out in different countries - Malaysia, Brunei, Australia, USA, UK, though there was a time spanning a few years scattered through my primary & secondary school days when a significant number was living in Singapore.   Those were the years that I remember fondly - of dinners & holidays & laughter & tears, Christmases, New Years, Birthdays & Anniversaries.

Most of my friends are at least third generation Singaporeans.  Their extended families are mostly in Singapore.  I wonder if they take for granted, these special occasions which celebrate family togetherness.  I sometimes wonder how it would be if our family was such, instead of the international hodgepodge that it is.  I realize that in a way, I was also a third culture kid.  Maybe that's why I am still wondering where home is.

Musings from the Empty Nest 4

Chinese New Year's Eve "Reunion Dinner" :
Me - Fish & Chips
A - Cheese Burger

Chinese New Year's Day brunch - dim sum

The year of the snake started off with a whimper....

Winter Schminter

I miss the cold.  Yes, you heard me, I actually miss the frigid cold of the Beijing winter (not the filthy coal-laden air, though).  There's something comforting about snuggling under layers of downy warm winter clothing & comforters.

To call Winter Winter here in Hong Kong is a bit of a joke.  It feels more like Spring here, with temperatures in the teens, and yesterday, up to 23 C!

Yet, I see many Hong Kong-ers  bundled up in hats & scarfs & gloves & down coats & boots as if they were ready to traipse through the wilds of wintry Siberia.  It's crazy.

Musings from the Empty Nest 4

W returns to college tomorrow after spending his winter break here.  Z left two weeks ago.  It was nice having both "boys" "home".

I asked if he was looking forward to going home to Boston, where his college is.  W says that he doesn't consider Boston home.  And that until he has a family of his own, home is wherever we are...which really touched my heart.  Like this song...




  I guess for third culture kids like ours, home really is where the heart is.

6 degrees of Separation

A good friend in Beijing just told me that she & her husband knows Hugh Jackman's father.

Hugh Jackman.

HUGH JACKMAN!!!

One of my favorite actors!

In this shrinking world of ours, it's funny where life brings us & whom we meet along the way.  They say that we are all connected in six or less degrees of separation.  True or not, all the connections that I have made in life this far have been precious.

Here's to connecting some more....

Getting Fit

So, A & I have signed up with a health club, and sessions with trainers, in an effort to lose weight & get healthy.

Weight loss has been a perpetual struggle for me, especially during the time when I was working full-time, both as a doctor, and as a stay-at-home mother.

No more excuses now that I am an empty nester.  An ulterior motive for me is to try to get in shape for a dream vacation of mine: horse-trekking through the Canadian Rockies.  I don't know when I will get the chance to do so, but hopefully in the near future, before age takes a toll on this physical body & I am unable to even climb on to a horse.

Wish me luck.

Musings from the Empty Nest 3

The thing about being an international  transplanted family with college-going sons is that time spent together as a family under the same roof in the same country is a rare & treasured occasion.

Usually, family reunions happen during "special" occasions like Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year, Easter etc.  But for us, we take what we can get.  Time spent together is special, no matter which part of the year it is.

License to Kill

I see Facebook posts about gun rights.  I see Facebook posts about gun control.  Most of the time, you are either pro-gun rights or pro-gun control.  There doesn't seem to be a middle ground.  Maybe it's the media that gives a lop-sided picture of what most Americans want insofar as the gun situation in the US is concerned.   Maybe most of them DO want a middle ground that would make it safer for the innocents.

In my eyes, I see the history of America playing a huge part in why guns are so prevalent & so close to the hearts of so many Americans.  At the same time, I also wonder at why so much emphasis is placed on keeping true to the Second Amendment which was written over two centuries ago.  Indeed, it seems like many Americans still wish to live like they did back in the Wild Wild West, when everyone carried a gun.

I write from the viewpoint of someone growing up in a country where guns are only carried by police officers or soldiers, and where gunshot injuries or deaths are rare incidents (so rare that I think it is safe to say that the majority of doctors who have trained & practiced there have never seen nor treated a gun shot injury, accidental or otherwise).

I cannot understand this love affair with these deadly weapons.  I cannot understand why people hunt.  I cannot understand why gun lovers refuse to see that there HAS to be better gun control to keep these weapons of mass destruction out of the hands of lunatics.  

Sadly, the gun culture in the USA is so deeply entrenched, and criminals probably possess arsenals of these weapons illegally, that it would be impossible to outright ban guns altogether.  I hate reading the proposals from the gun rights people to allow ordinary citizens to carry concealed weapons for protection.  I would feel terrified that someone who may be having a bad day, or suffering from road rage, or suffering from mental illness, could be in possession of such a weapon, and start shooting innocent folks who may be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

If gun rights advocates feel so strongly about being able to "bear arms", they should also accept that such arms in the hands of the wrong people can do so much harm.  Much like how doctors go through years of training & certification before they are given the privilege & license to practise medicine (which, like guns, if used wrongly, can kill many in one fell stroke), I don't see why those who want to bear arms should not go through rigorous training & certification to ensure that only those who are fit to do so, are allowed to do so.

Ultimately, we ALL want to keep our children & families safe....don't we?

21

My first born turns 21 today . What a blessing he has been, my teddy bear boy.

On this day, he is legally an independent adult. I wish him well in the years to come...but in my heart, he will always be my baby boy, the first one to open up my heart and eyes to the wonderful crazy world of motherhood

The Spirit of Christmas

This article describes the true spirit of Christmas.

We have been enjoying the company of both our boys this Christmas.  This is so much more than what the families of the victims of the Newtown & Rochester, and many others who have lost dear ones have.

My hope for the new year & for years to come is that they would not have died in vain.  Change HAS to happen.  If not, then we might as well go back to the days of the Wild Wild West.

Winding Down

As the year comes to a close just over a week from now, it is also a time of reflection for me.  I have been relatively silent on this blog because (ironically), it's been such an eventful year.  And if I write at all, my posts have been noticeably short.

From W's graduation from high school, to our relocation from Beijing to Hong Kong, to the actual move, then helping W settle into college, and spending time with the parental units as well as the in-law, and trying to find my way around HK, organizing a big anniversary dinner for my parents here together with hosting my immediate family in our very small apartment... *deep breath*.... just reading the summary of what all these events is enough to make me tired, let along write about it all!

Now that Z is here for the winter break, and W arriving tomorrow, it's time for some family time, a rare occasion indeed when we are all under one roof simultaneously!  We leave for a much-needed & longed for beach vacation in Phuket next week.

The year has gone by in a blur.  Some events which stand out for me (apart from those already mentioned above) were the US elections (which thankfully, Obama won), watching Jason Mraz perform in HK (amazing, as always) and the recent massacre of children & teachers in Newtown, MA (such a sad tragedy).  The latter incident saddens & angers me.  I have blogged about the lack of gun control in the USA before, and sad to say, nothing much has changed since.  I hope that everyone can sit down & have a civilized conversation about this issue & come up with good, practical implementable solutions to this multifactoral problem.  I hope that these children did not die in vain; that they will be remembered, not as victims of a crazed person who had such easy access to deadly weapons, but as the stimuli which pushed for change for the better.

Merry Christmas everyone, and give your child(ren) an extra hug today.

And have a Happy New Year.

Musings from the Empty Nest 2

Smooth transition into empty nest-hood notwithstanding, reuniting with Z & eventually W will still be a wonderful event.  We will go to our first family vacation in a long time, heading to the sunny shores of Phuket, Thailand where we plan to do nothing but bask in the sun, take long walks on the beach, and enjoy Thai food.