Things they are a-changin'

It used to be that 'housekeeping' meant tidying up things around the house, dusting tabletops, organizing things that tend to get strewn around the house, throwing out the trash, sorting out unwanted items to get rid of.

In today's digital age, it also means sorting out & organizing files that tend to clutter up your computer desktop, going through your folders and deleting unwanted documents.

Less physical, but time-consuming, nonetheless.

Growing Up

A friend with a freshman daughter in college recently lamented to me that she couldn't sleep as her daughter had told her that she was going to consult a doctor for birth control advice. She couldn't yet accept the idea of her daughter having sex. I said well, at least her daughter is smart enough to know to take precautions with regards to reproduction. And honest enough to be upfront about it with her mother.

Many parents do not even talk about sex with their kids. Embarrassment? Wishful thinking that their kids will never ever "do" it?

My philosophy is this: Safe Sex. I think that it's fine and dandy to proclaim abstinence as the safest way to go, but in this day & age, with our children inundated left, right and center by the various media, you would be living in a glass bubble if you think that they will not be tempted to experience sex especially in the 18 - 25 year old age group.

Emphasize responsible sexuality. Teach them that the act of sexual intercourse should be treated as something special which one experiences with a person when you are committed to each other. But having said that, we still need to make sure that our offspring are equipped with the knowledge to stay safe IF they do take that step.

Impressions from China - Fraud

This article makes me so mad.

Fraud in China is not uncommon. After all, this is THE country for knock-offs & fake anything-under-the-sun.

But after going through the process of college applications (2nd time around now in progress) and the laborious efforts that are needed to write those essays & fill in those application forms & meet those deadlines, it angers me that so many Chinese students are getting in through unethical ways & means.

I have heard of how some of the local SAT "schools" hothouse the students - it's not about learning vocabulary, but it's about statistics & tactics. Eg. if it's question 58 on the reading test, you have a higher chance of a correct answer if you mark "B" on the answer sheet. It's not as ludicrous as it sounds - the Chinese have the gumption of collecting years & years worth of SAT questions/answers, doing statistical analyses on it then come up with probabilities which are used to "teach" these students.

I hope that the colleges in the US wake up to this aspect of admitting students from China.

College Apps - Countdown

2 down.

5 to go.

Sigh.

Blind

Mothers of boys, I am sure you have had the following exchange of conversation (or something like it) with your sons before:

Son

"MOM!!!  Where is my shirt/jeans/pants/shorts/underwear/socks/cap/jacket?!"

Mom

"In your closet!"

Son

"I looked...it's not there!"

Mom

"Look closer, it's there.  Check in the pile."

Son

"I did, it's not there!"

Mom goes into Son's closet & pulls out missing item. 

"Here it is."

Similar scenario happened today.  Except that the "missing" item was the "Early Decision" button in the Common Apps website.

W

"Mr S said that you did not submit the ED signature.  You need to do it again."

Me

"What???  I did!  I even received an acknowledgment!"

W

"Well, I couldn't find it on the Common Apps today.  It's not there."

Me

"Are you sure?  Did you look properly?"

W

"Yes.  You need to do it again."

By then, I was very intrigued as to how an important link on the website could go missing.

I go on the site, log in and a couple of clicks later, I find it.  Not even buried within a pile of links.  It was RIGHT THERE.  Same as other previously "missing" items.

Sigh.....MEN.

Sad

I'm realizing that W will be leaving our home soon.  I'm sad to think that we may not have holidays together much anymore as a family unit.  I've always looked forward to our beach holidays, just walking on the beach together, looking for sea shells, checking out sea life in the rock pools, lazing in the pool.  Simple pleasures.

Next year when both boys are in college, chances are family holidays will be few & far between.  Excited as I am with the changes to come, I am also melancholic.

Tired

Sigh.

And I am going to sigh again because the topic of this entry makes me tired.

Sigh.

When Z did his college apps two years ago (has it only been two years???), he went through the whole tedious process of filling in his personal information, academic information, test scores etc into the Common apps or online applications forms for the universities of his choice.  Then he had to fill out the supplement applications and write the essay/s for each of the colleges & submit them.  I had to keep track of the deadlines & keep pushing him to complete his essays so that we & his college counselor could review them before he submitted them.  It was a tiresome, tedious & time-consuming task especially since Z DID NOT/DOES NOT enjoy writing essays!

Now it's W's turn & to add an extra layer of complexity to the whole process, because he is applying to study Music, he needs to submit extra applications with the associated essays to the universities' music colleges AND record his music so that it is sent off to them for prescreening, AND THEN, if it passes the prescreening process, he would need to submit a recorded audition or go for a live audition.  AND all these have deadlines!

I feel tired just thinking about it.

I will be happy when Jan 15, 2012 arrives or Dec 15, 2011 when the Early Decision results are released (hopefully he can get in but then it's a tough school to get into).

I am so glad I only have 2 kids to put into college.  I don't think I can survive another round.

Gravity

I notice new wrinkles on my face this week. Time marches relentlessly on and leaves its unmistakable footprints behind.

I have always pooh-poohed aesthetic intervention as something that I would never resort to. But I must admit that now, looking at myself in the mirror, there are fleeting thoughts of "lasers", "dermabrasion" and the like.

They remain just thoughts.

For now, anyway.

Impressions from China - Blue

This is the Beijing sky today. You don't see a lot of this here. It was like this the last couple of days, and hopefully will last a few more days.

I realize how pathetic this post is, with a picture of just the blue sky.

But then, living in Beijing, one learns to appreciate the most seemingly mundane

About Change

I like change, the noun. Change is good. It keeps us on our toes, makes life more interesting, expands our experiences & horizons.

I don't like change, the verb. This is a year of change. New country, new lifestyle, a smaller family unit....all in store for us.

Exciting, no doubt, but the getting there is, well... going to be a challenge.

They say life is about the journey and not just the destination (which is still a big unknown).

But right now, just the thought of all the STUFF we have to get rid of/pack/move is enough to make a girl cry.

10 years...

9/11 Anniversary Plot: Terror Suspects Came From Inside U.S. - ABC News

So they have us running around like headless chickens.

City gridlocked.

Police up in arms.

Millions of dollars spent trying to find the suspected terrorists.

Hundreds of hours lost by the innocents trying to go about life as normal.

Tell me they haven't already won...

10 Years

10 years.

10 years since the two towers fell and the world lost its innocence for good.

And yet, we're still at it. Saddam is dead, as is Osama, but terrorism survives, probably forever. As long as there are fanatics in this world (and there always will be), there will be the possibility of another attack somewhere, sometime.

The terrorists have won, I think. They have affected how we travel, how we view the world. They have made us suspicious of those who look a certain way. They have cost us billions of dollars and worse, thousands of lives.

I really don't see how & when this can end.

Countdown

In less than a year from now, we will no longer be living in China. W will be off in college somewhere, and I will finally join A and officially become empty nesters.

The thing about change is that it's scary. And it's stressful. And it's inconvenient. And it's troublesome.

To be honest, right now, I am not anxious about W leaving the nest. Not yet, anyway. I am more stressed by all the packing that we will have to do. And the logistical planning of where all our STUFF will go to. We don't have a home, you see, having sold our apartment in Singapore a couple of years ago. And we have all this STUFF: all the stuff that accumulates in a four household family which will essentially have to be consolidated into a shipment for two. Much of the stuff can be sold or thrown away. But still, there are those memorabilia and keepsakes that will need to remain with us even though much of it will probably remain in our storage boxes till we are, possibly, dead & gone from this earth.

I am starting to sell some of the non-essentials. It's easier that way, but still, I know that as the time draws nearer to the date when we have to leave, I may possibly reach Panic Mode.

College Apps 2.1

I think I am more stressed than W. I look at the list of essays he has to write, the number of songs he has to record for auditions & add on the school projects he has to do this year with deadlines looming ever closer, and I have to take a deep breath to calm myself down.

"I have it covered," he tells me.

"I'm glad to hear that," I reply.

I, for one, will be glad when this school year is over.

Or at least, till the college admission results come out.

Easier

"It gets easier;" I told her, a parent who had just sent her eldest son off to college.

"It does," I emphasized, as she looked at me with faint disbelief and said, "Does it?"

I could see the sadness in her eyes - I imagine that mine must have looked the same a year ago.

It does get easier, but it doesn't really go away completely, that pang that you feel of not having him around. I wandered through his room today, looking at the things on his desk, and his wall. A class schedule is still pinned up on the board from his junior year - something he never quite got around to throwing away. Then there are those little bits & pieces of note paper & junk mail still lying there.

It's his way of telling me that he'll be back sooner than I think - his claim on this place that he still calls home.

It does get easier, but it doesn't really go away completely.

College Apps 2.0

And so it begins...

It is W's turn to apply for colleges. Except that for him it is going to involve a lot more work with the added requirement of submitting audition audios/videos since he is going to be majoring in Music.

I am hoping that it will be easier this time around. W seems to be more pro-active than Z insofar as getting his b*tt moving. He started on the essays before the summer break began. Z thinks that it's because W has a deeper passion for his chosen course of study than he ever did.

I certainly hope so. With this year of transition, I have a whole lot more on my mind than before.

Wish us luck.

Role Reversal

Happiness is...

...when your "baby" makes you coffee & a hearty breakfast all on his own accord.

:)

Magnificence 2

We have made our way through three national parks on the Colorado Plateau: Zion National Park, Bryce Canyon, Grand Canyon (North & South Rims).

They are, in one word, spectacular. Thinking about how they have been here on this Earth for millions of years makes me feel small and insignificant.

If I had to choose a favorite, I would say Bryce Canyon with its reddish colored rock formations called Hoodoos. The Paiutes believed that this was an evil place, and people who wandered in were turned into stone. W & I did the easy hike into the canyon and came up close & personal to some of these Hoodoos.

The Grand Canyon was, well, grand. The views from the both rims were breathtaking. With the Colorado River snaking through what essentially is a chasm in the Earth formed from shifting tectonic plates & volcanic activity, there were many areas along the Rim Trail where we were literally steps away from certain death if we were to take a wrong step over the edge!

We drove through desert highways, mountain roads, up to 9,000 feet above sea level. We saw mountains & valleys, rivers & lakes, forests & deserts, and the bright lights of Las Vegas.

But you know what the best part of the whole trip was?

Just doing things as a family and spending time together.

Magnificence

We are road tripping through a few of the national parks in the American southwest. The splendor & beauty of the landscape we have driven/hiked through can best be described through pictures.

This is Zion National Park in Utah. The pictures speak for themselves.

Panorama

Sunrise

Valley

Violation

W's guitar was stolen from a secure building in the university where he is currently doing a summer course.

This is a guitar which he painstakingly saved up for with a combination of pocket money & giving guitar lessons; he bought the parts, and put it together, and tuned/tweaked/toned it just so that it sounded just right.

So of course he is upset by the theft. I am sure he feels violated. I know I do. And my husband. That something like that can happen in a reputable university makes us angry. But then, this is the USA where crime happens probably more rampantly than what we have been used to in our sheltered lives.

As a parent, you want to shelter your child from adversity & turmoil. But it's not possible to do so, I know.

I am proud of how he has handled it, all on his own. He has kept a calm head, reporting it to the authorities, getting the help that he needs from faculty, staff & students. He is trying not to let his anger affect his behavior & attitude. He still has lessons & tests & performances & concerts to do which he will have to do with a borrowed instrument. I am sure he will still excel.

I am a proud parent.