2010 Favorite Things

Here are my favorite things of 2010:

1. My handy dandy Brother ES-2400 sewing machine which I have used to make so many quilted gifts for family & friends!
2. My iriver e-reader & Nookbook (technically my husband's but then what's his is mine too :)) - it has widened the choice of books available to me infinitely, especially here in English books -deprived China. Now it follows me to the gym & makes my workout much shorter than it seems (thank God), & I can carry it along with me if I am stuck in traffic (a frequent occurence in Beijing) & yes, I will admit it, it also makes for bathroom reading. And don't forget that it is much greener than buying actual paper books!
3. The Garmin GPS navigator - one of our best buys of the year! It was invaluable during our road trips in the US, enabling us to find not only our destinations, but also last minute stops at supermarkets/movie theater/restaurants/department stores etc.
4. My new favorite restaurant in Beijing: Hatsune! I usually am not a fan of sashimi, but the salmon here is to die for...
5. One of my favorite reads of the year, "Three Cups of Tea" by Greg Mortensen.

Merry Christmas & Happy 2011!

Impressions from China - Corruption etc

For those who have lived/are living in China, this article should not come as a surprise.

Sad to say, I do not have a favorable opinion of the Chinese insofar as ethics is concerned. Money is the god that is worshiped here. Anything goes. Contaminated milk, medicine, toothpaste and what have you...ethics be damned. Anything for some extra money in ones' pockets. Whether you are a government official or a private entrepreneur does not matter.

It is fine & dandy that those who get caught are punished (severely, by world standards: some are executed). And Chinese history has shown that breaking the law comes with harsh punishment (if caught, that is). But this has not seemed to deter those who are determined to make that extra buck, no matter the consequences.

Doing business here, or the mere simple act of shopping in a local market can be dicey. For those new to these shores, getting cheated or being charged exorbitantly is not uncommon. Hence my aversion to bargain shopping at places like Silk Street or Hong Qiao, where foreigners are seen by the vendors as prime bait carrying wallets full of cash, ripe for the picking.

This aspect darkens the glory & achievements of the Chinese civilization. Along with civilized social behavior, & proper traffic etiquette, the Chinese need to catch up with the rest of the developed world in realizing what ethical behavior is.

Otherwise, China will remain, essentially, just one big cowboy town with a heck of a lot of economic clout. A scary thought indeed.

Christmas Cheer

Our house is decorated with Christmassy paraphernalia, both old & new.

There are our precious ornaments collected over the years, hanging on our Christmas tree...

Nostalgic pieces...

This was hand-made by Z. in preschool...

And this by W...

A fairly recent addition...

Then there are our Christmas stockings which used to hang over our fireplace in Pennsylvania but have since hung on staircase banners or wooden decorative grills or whatever else space I could find to hang them from, for lack of a proper fireplace!

Then there are these two snowmen buddies, & our snowman sitting on a wreath, bought right here in Beijing 3 years ago...

And our latest addition, this Christmas bunting, handmade by a very craft-y friend here in Beijing; the very same friend who introduced me to the world of Quilting. I will soon have to say farewell to her as she will leave Beijing in several months' time :(...but this memento will stay in our collection of precious Christmas possessions that have followed us around the world ...

Reconnecting again

Z. comes back to Beijing in less than a week to spend his Winter break with us. We are all looking forward to the reunion.

I met with a couple of friends, ex-classmates from medical school, who were here with their family on holiday recently. Their kids are younger - one in primary school, the other in secondary school. He asked me how I feel about being an almost-empty-nester to which I reply that I am looking forward to the next phase in my life.

However, to reach the next phase, we will have to go through the transition of separating with W. Now, THAT, I do not look forward to.

New York

For some reason, being in New York City always seems to put me on edge.

Maybe it's the crowded & dirty sidewalks, with people milling around or walking to their destinations or tourists/locals talking loudly to each other.
Or the heavy traffic & honking & often heard sirens of the police car/ambulance/firetruck.
Or the sight of the homeless drunk stumbling along or trying to stay warm under his pile of raggedy blankets & cardboard boxes.

Great place to visit. But I don't think I could ever live here comfortably. Give me the wide open spaces or suburbia anytime.

Yearnings

I felt rather depressed walking through the supermarket this afternoon for the last time before heading "home" to Beijing.

The abundant variety & availability of anything you may need to stock your pantry was almost too much to bear. The high prices of imported goods (the limited selection that is actually available) in Beijing add salt to the wound.

The locals take it for granted, this convenience.

We have packed our suitcases to the brim as we prepare to head home in a couple of days.

Until next time, America....

Sigh.

20

I guess ours was, what one would call, a whirlwind romance. We knew within 6 weeks of meeting each other that "This was IT". We knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, as mates, partners for life.

To call it being 'madly in love' was an understatement. We spent almost every single free minute we had together, in each others' company. We were an unlikely pair: an American Naval Officer, and an exhausted intern who had never met that special someone who sparked even the remotest of romantic interest. Until him.

That was just over 20 years ago.

Tomorrow, we celebrate our 20th year together as a wedded couple. The intense, passionate, fiery feelings have smoldered into a deeper and lasting emotion. As with most marriages, we've had our ups and downs, but through it all, the constant love has always been there.

Happy Anniversary, A. What a ride it has been.

In America

Whenever I come back to America, I

• don't have to look at the air pollution index before venturing outside
• enjoy unfettered internet access
• don't worry about being knocked down at a pedestrian crossing when I have right of way
• wander the aisles of the supermarkets in wide-eyed wonder
• say hi, how are you to virtual strangers

It's wonderful.

Thanksgiving

On this day of thanks, I am thankful for

the love & support of my family, both nuclear & extended
the chance to explore & experience this world way beyond what I have ever imagined being able to do so
my two darling boys who have grown into strong dependable young men

Separation (again)

Much as I am happy that Z. has transitioned well, it doesn't make separating any easier.

We will see him in three weeks when he comes back to Beijing for his winter break. But saying farewell still tugs at my heart.

I suspect that the separation process will never be absolutely painless, no matter how old my children are.

Reconnection

It has been wonderful for A. & I to see Z. again. He looks well, enjoying college life, having made some good friends to hang out with & to study with.

He has transitioned well, my teddy-bear-son.

I am content.

Now for Round 2 with W.....

Reconnecting

It's been 3 and a half months since I left Z. halfway across the world to attend college. This is the longest we've ever been apart since he was born. I have to say, though, that the separation DOES get easier. I suppose it's the natural progression of life after all, the young separating from their parental units.

I see him again this weekend when I travel with A. to the US of A. I can't wait, thrilled at the prospect of being able to see him, hug him, talk to him face to face (as opposed to via Facetime), see his dorm room, meet his room mate, his friends, see whom he hangs out with, where he has his meals - basically stuff that moms are concerned about.

In the words of Borat, I am so excite!

Impressions from China - winter

You know Winter is approaching when

• you feel the frigid, chilled-to-the-bone cold when you go outside
• you smell the distinctive odor of charcoal smoke (in the area where we live, charcoal is the main source of heat)
• you are reluctant to leave the warm & steamy shower stall after your shower
• your skin starts to dry up, looks like fish scales, and feels like sandpaper
• riding your bike to school no longer seems very appealing

Maternal Pride

Tonight, I watched as my younger son, W., give an absolutely fantastic performance on the timpani in "Carmina Burana". At the post-concert reception, many parents congratulated & praised his work; his band teacher walked up to me, extended his hand to shake mine, and said what a great job W. had done, not just in his performance, but also in his leadership skills as section leader in class.

Nothing warms a mother's heart more than to hear such kind words & unwavering praise of one's offspring.

Impressions from China - Chinese wedding

I witnessed a bizarre scene today while working out at the gym.

See, our clubhouse has a lakeside al fresco area that is popularly used for events like, in this case, a wedding. Thing is, it is in full sight of the people working out in the gym.

This morning, I saw the area decked out for a wedding. Orange streamers, orange flowers in bouquets. I saw the groom dressed in a formal suit, the bride in a Western-style cream-colored bridal gown holding a bouquet of orange flowers (I'm thinking the theme is Orange).

The bride was waiting near the entrance to the lakeside area, just adjacent to the gym. We heard the MC speaking over the PA system, at full blast, in Mandarin, then a child's voice, speaking in a cutesy way, something about switching off hand phones (I think).

Then the introductory part of the theme from Star Wars starts playing, at which point the bride starts walking into the celebratory area (& where A. asks softly into my ear, "Where's Darth Vader?" to which I burst out into uncontrollable laughter - fortunately, we were in the gym, out of earshot of the bridal party - in any case, with the volume at full blast, I doubt we would have been overheard anyway). The Star Wars theme segueways into the theme from Exodus followed by a few bars from the Amazing Race theme song.

I am not kidding you.

Then the groom starts speaking & shouts "I love you" (in Mandarin) among other things which I did not understand.

Then I was done with my workout.

It was pretty surreal.

Aches & Pains

Groan.

Moan.

I played basketball today for the first time in 26 years. And boy, am I sore. The knees are wobbly, and the back aches; I can't imagine how much worse it will be tomorrow as these things generally feel worse the next day.

I used to be extremely active in university. Softball, volleyball, tennis, basketball...even played for my Faculty. However, after graduation, my physical activity level dropped tremendously due to work, and then motherhood.

Now, with age catching up, I try to make it to the gym every other day, in the hope that it will improve my cardiovascular health.

Despite my fairly regular gym-ming, I realize that competitive basketball is way way way beyond my capability now.

Sigh.

Bookaholic

Despite have an e-reader, I still find myself inexplicably drawn towards bookstores in the USA & Singapore.

Something about the rows & rows of bookshelves, & browsing through the books according to authors' names, & thumbing through the pages to read snippets of the books before deciding on whether to buy or not....the experience cannot be replicated digitally.

Although now, I have to stop at the stage of thumbing through the pages & remind myself to buy said books online instead.

Survivor

Forget about the reality TV series.

It is heartwarming to watch the rescue of the Chilean miners who have been trapped underground for 69 days, being pulled out painstakingly, one by one. The resilience of the human spirit is amazing.

The miners have been brave, but the true heroes, I think, of this saga, are the supporting crew, who have helped maintain the physical, emotional & spiritual well-being of the miners & the engineers who managed to figure out a way of getting them out.

These days, we need more good news like this.

Next Generation

I was browsing in the toy department of a store a few days ago, looking for a present for my nephew's first birthday. I noticed a few other parents in there, with their kids, mostly toddlers. And then it struck me that they all looked soooo young. (The parents, I mean.) I saw them & thought to myself: "Wow, what young parents."

And then I realized that I, the half-empty-nester, could, physiologically speaking, be a grandmother (although I DO NOT WANT TO NOR DO I EXPECT TO BE ONE ANY TIME IN THE NEAR FUTURE!!!) and that once upon a time, I was in their shoes running after my two little boys in the toy department.

And then I suddenly felt old.

The Big Chill

Dinner and drinks.

Scintillating conversation, nostalgic reminiscence.

Laughing till tears roll down our faces.

Chatting about anything & everything.

That was what we did a couple of nights ago, a group of friends from medical school.

Recent deaths within our circle of peers has made us all more aware of our own mortality. We cope in different ways: some becoming more conscious of our health, while others, like me, try almost desperately, to get in touch with old pals. My trips to Singapore happen once, maybe twice a year. During these trips, I try to connect with old friends - classmates from high school, medical school, previous work colleagues.

We try to catch up on a year's (or more) worth of updates in a few hours. Death, divorce, separation, our children's milestones - we try to cover all that in the short time we have together.

We always have a good time; and we always end the night reluctantly. This time, we chatted till after 1 am, till we all could not fight the sleepy yawns & heavy eyelids, before we said our farewells.

Good friends, good times, always.