Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Missing Us

I've said many times & to many people that being an empty nester has been very liberating.  However, that doesn't take away from the fact that I am missing Us, the Family Unit.  Whether it is sitting at the dinner table, talking about stuff or watching a movie together then dissecting the storyline after, or just being in the same room while surfing the Internet, I do miss Us.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014


I don't consider myself religious.  Spiritual, perhaps, but not religious.  I used to think I was Christian back in my teenage years, but I blame that on youthful susceptibility to peer pressure (my close friends went to church, and so I did too).  As I got older and was exposed to more & varied types of people, I became jaded by those who called themselves Christian but were not good in how they behaved towards others (ethically), and their attitude towards those who did not believe.  Their evangelicalistic zeal (aka "Believe that Jesus is your Saviour or you will go to hell!!!" diatribes) turned me off from the religion.

But don't get me wrong, I still prayed to God although that has lapsed in the recent years.  I guess my perception of religion & a superior being has evolved over the years.  Whether that Being is called God, or Allah, or Buddha, or Yahweh, to me it doesn't matter.   What matters to me is for people to NOT be hypocritical.  Don't kill or behave badly or show disrespect or abuse others in the name of your religion & your God.  The God that I believe in is not a cruel one who would ask us to kill or rape or maim or curse in His name.

I seldom talk about religion with my friends.  I have friends who are Christian, Catholic, Buddhist, Muslim, atheists, agnostics.  My true friends don't preach to me about their beliefs and I, in return, don't preach to them.  I generally stay away from those who are overzealous in their religious fervor.  I do not want to be told that I will go to hell if I don't believe.  You see, I don't believe that I will go to hell.  I am not even sure if I believe that there IS one.  Perhaps our consciousness will pass on to another existential plane.  I just don't know.  For me, I just want to live this physical life the best I can.  Be good (as good can be).  Be kind (as much as possible).  Do no harm.

The reason why I am writing this is because I prayed two days ago, after a lapse of God-only-knows how many years.  I haven't prayed in a long time.  I used to pray about exams, and about my personal life.  But honestly, life has been good to me, so that is probably the reason why I haven't done so in so long.  But I prayed two days ago, because a close relative of mine, who has been living with chronic myelogenous leukemia for several years, just took a turn for the worse.  His blood work showed that it was turning into the blast phase with accompanying deterioration of his physical condition.  

So I prayed.

Today I found out that his latest blood test shows that the blast count has dropped, his white count & platelets have also come up.